Craig Groeschel has a brand new book out called "Confessions of a Pastor: (The Dark Side of a Pastor's Life - A Breath of Fresh Air)". I just picked up a copy last week and have really enjoyed reading it. In the book, Craig relates openly and honestly the feelings and thoughts that many pastors and church leaders feel every day. For instance, listen as Craig relates the first time he ever felt free to really be authentic while preaching. He writes:
"One Sunday, after another week of performing my best for God, I stood to preach His life-changing Word. As I approached the pulpit, the truth hit me squarely between the eyes. I hadn’t prayed at all. Not that day. Not the day before. Not the day before that. To the best of my knowledge, I hadn’t prayed all week.
And I called myself a pastor. That’s when it dawned on me: I had become a full-time minister and a part-time follower of Christ. From the outside, I looked the part. “God bless you,” I’d say, followed by the promise, “I’ll be praying for you.”
But that was usually a lie.
Stepping onto the platform to preach that morning, I admitted to myself that I was not a pastor first, but a regular, scared, insecure, everyday guy whose life had been changed by Jesus. And if Jesus really loved me as I was (I knew He did), then why should I go on trying to be someone I wasn’t? I stumbled through that sermon, forcing the words to come out. The message was superficial, plastic, shallow…but somehow I got through it. I drove home that day ashamed of the role I’d played so skillfully, but feeling cautiously hopeful I might learn to be myself.
All week long I agonized. I prayed as I hadn’t prayed in months: God, what if I tell them who I really am? What if they know I’m terrified? What if they reject me? Talk bad about me? Fire me? I swallowed hard. Then I ventured a step further: Is this what You want me to do? I thought I sensed God’s assurance, but I wasn’t sure. Desperately I hoped it was Him leading me,
and not just my own whacked-out thoughts.
The next Sunday arrived, and I walked to the platform uncharacteristically unprepared—not one written note. The only preparation was in my heart. My throat dry, nervous beyond description, I stared at two hundred very committed churchgoers. They stared politely back.
Silence.
Finally I spoke. “My relationship with God is not what it should be.” My voice quavered with each syllable. No one moved. I plunged ahead. “I’ve confessed to God, but now I’m going to confess to you: I’ve become a full-time minister but a part-time follower of Christ.”
You could have heard a communion wafer snap
Confessions of a PastorCraig Groeschel has a brand new book out called "Confessions of a Pastor: (The Dark Side of a Pastor's Life - A Breath of Fresh Air)". I just picked up a copy last week and have really enjoyed reading it. In the book, Craig relates openly and honestly the feelings and thoughts that many pastors and church leaders feel every day. For instance, listen as Craig relates the first time he ever felt free to be authentic while preaching. He writes...
And I called myself a pastor. That’s when it dawned on me: I had become a full-time minister and a part-time follower of Christ. From the outside, I looked the part. “God bless you,” I’d say, followed by the promise, “I’ll be praying for you.”
But that was usually a lie.
Stepping onto the platform to preach that morning, I admitted to myself that I was not a pastor first, but a regular, scared, insecure, everyday guy whose life had been changed by Jesus. And if Jesus really loved me as I was (I knew He did), then why shouldI go on trying to be someone I wasn’t? I stumbled through that sermon, forcing the words to come out. The message was superficial, plastic, shallow…but somehow I got through it. I drove home that day ashamed of the role I’d played so skillfully, but feeling cautiously hopeful I might learn to be myself.
All week long I agonized. I prayed as I hadn’t prayed in months: God, what if I tell them who I really am? What if they know I’m terrified? What if they reject me? Talk bad about me? Fire me? I swallowed hard. Then I ventured a step further: Is this what You want me to do? I thought I sensed God’s assurance, but I wasn’t sure. Desperately I hoped it was Him leading me,
and not just my own whacked-out thoughts.
The next Sunday arrived, and I walked to the platform uncharacteristically unprepared—not one written note. The only preparation was in my heart. My throat dry, nervous beyond description, I stared at two hundred very committed churchgoers. They stared politely back.
Silence.
Finally I spoke. “My relationship with God is not what it should be.” My voice quavered with each syllable. No one moved. I plunged ahead. “I’ve confessed to God, but now I’m going to confess to you: I’ve become a full-time minister but a part-time follower of Christ.”
You could have heard a communion wafer snap.
I continued speaking, opening my heart and inviting everyone inside. The message that Sunday was unembellished: no humor, no quotes, no poems. It was void of clever sayings or points starting with the same letter. But the message was true. I held nothing back. It was the biggest public risk I’d ever taken. It was also my first authentic sermon. I had preached many times before, but this was the first time the real me made a showing. In the middle of my talk, something started to happen,
something new…
God made Himself known.
The reality of His presence is hard to describe, but it’s even harder to miss. Some people cried quietly in their seats. Others sobbed openly—not so much for my sins, but for their own. Before I had finished my confession, many gathered at the altar to repent along with me.
As the tears andwords flowed, God’s peace replaced my fear. His assurance pushed away my doubts. Christ’s power invaded my weakness. In that moment, Jesus became as real to me as He had ever been. The Savior was with me…and I believed He was pleased. “Well done,” I felt, more than heard.
That’s when it all changed. I became a full-time follower of Christ who happened to be a pastor. No more make-believe. No posing. And no playing games. From that moment on, I would be who I am.
Or nothing at all.
The Dark Side of a Pastor’s Life—A Breath of Fresh Air Are you tired of pretending? Living walled up? Going only skin deep? Craig Groeschel , pastor of the thriving LifeChurch.tv, sure was. And in his refreshingly raw and real book, he comes clean. Not that he has anything other than typical, human stuff to confess. Check out a few of his musings: I have to work hard to stay sexually pure, I hate prayer meetings, sometimes I doubt God , and I can’t stand a lot of Christians . Through his incredible honesty, he opens the door for you to follow suit. Are you ready to dig deep and let God shine through the genuine you? No more living just to please others. No more hiding. You can be who God called you to be. You can live for an audience of One. Is the real you getting lost because the fake you is just so annoyingly impressive? “Stepping onto the platform to preach that morning, I admitted to myself that I was not a pastor first, but a regular, scared, insecure, everyday guy whose life had been changed by Jesus. And if Jesus really loved me as I was (I knew He did), then why should I go on trying to be someone I wasn’t?” Why do we fake it so much? Why do we spend so much time trying to please everyone else and make so little effort trying to please God? When Craig Groeschel asked himself those questions, he couldn’t come up with a good answer. So one day he decided to drop the act and start getting real. With that one choice, his life began to change in a big way. And yours can too. Craig’s passionate, funny, warts-and-all confessions—and the lessons he learned from them—will help you find your own path to authentic living and a deeper relationship with God (you know He’s on to you anyway!). Craig Groeschel is the founding and senior pastor of LifeChurch.tv, one of the county’s first multi-campus churches. With thirty-seven weekly worship experiences at nine locations, LifeChurch.tv has continued to grow since its inception in 1996, and currently sees more than 17,000 people in attendance each week. Armed with a passion to lead people to become fully devoted followers of Christ, Groeschel is known for his effective, cutting-edge teaching style replete with in-your-face honesty, accountability, and down-to-earth application. He graduated with a BA in marketing from Oklahoma University and went on to earn an MDiv from Phillips Theological Seminary. A captivating speaker whose messages touch thousands of people weekly, Groeschel's literary debut, Chazown, is an interactive book and DVD program named after the Hebrew word for “vision.” Craig Groeschel and his wife, Amy, make their home in the Edmond, Oklahoma area with their six children. “For too many years my life had been a show—my lines well rehearsed and every performance polished. By college, I played so many different roles I lost track of the real me. I began to wonder if there was a real me. Exhausted from playing the parts, I finally took off the masks—and met a God who loved me unconditionally. Confessions of a Pastor reveals in graphic detail my inner struggles, questions, doubts, and fears—to inspire others to abandon lives of pretending—and to meet the authentic love of God like never before.” — Craig Groeschel |
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