Confessions of a Pastor -- The Dark Side of a Pastor’s Life—A Breath of Fresh Air
Are you tired of pretending? Living walled up? Going only skin deep? Craig Groeschel , pastor of the thriving LifeChurch.tv, sure was. And in his refreshingly raw and real book, he comes clean. Not that he has anything other than typical, human stuff to confess. Check out a few of his musings: I have to work hard to stay sexually pure, I hate prayer meetings, sometimes I doubt God , and I can’t stand a lot of Christians . Through his incredible honesty, he opens the door for you to follow suit. Are you ready to dig deep and let God shine through the genuine you? No more living just to please others. No more hiding. You can be who God called you to be. You can live for an audience of One.
Is the real you getting lost because the fake you is just so annoyingly impressive?
“Stepping onto the platform to preach that morning, I admitted to myself that I was not a pastor first, but a regular, scared, insecure, everyday guywhose life had been changed by Jesus. And if Jesus really loved me as I was (I knew He did), then why should I go on trying to be someone I wasn’t?”
Why do we fake it so much? Why do we spend so much time trying to please everyone else and make so little effort trying to please God? When Craig Groeschel asked himself those questions, he couldn’t come up with a good answer. So one day he decided to drop the act and start getting real. With that one choice, his life began to change in a big way. And yours can too. Craig’s passionate, funny, warts-and-all confessions—and the lessons he learned from them—will help you find your own path to authentic living and a deeper relationship with God (you know He’s on to you anyway!).
Craig Groeschel is the founding and senior pastor of LifeChurch.tv, one of the county’s first multi-campus churches. With thirty-seven weekly worship experiences at nine locations, LifeChurch.tv has continued to grow since its inception in 1996, and currently sees more than 17,000 people in attendance each week.
Armed with a passion to lead people to become fully devoted followers of Christ, Groeschel is known for his effective, cutting-edge teaching style replete with in-your-face honesty, accountability, and down-to-earth application. He graduated with a BA in marketing from Oklahoma University and went on to earn an MDiv from Phillips Theological Seminary. A captivating speaker whose messages touch thousands of people weekly, Groeschel's literary debut, Chazown, is an interactive book and DVD program named after the Hebrew word for “vision.”
Craig Groeschel and his wife, Amy, make their home in the Edmond, Oklahoma area with their six children.
“For too many years my life had been a show—my lines well rehearsed and every performance polished. By college, I played so many different roles I lost track of the real me. I began to wonder if there was a real me. Exhausted from playing the parts, I finally took off the masks—and met a God who loved me unconditionally. Confessions of a Pastor reveals in graphic detail my inner struggles, questions, doubts, and fears—to inspire others to abandon lives of pretending—and to meet the authentic love of God like never before.” — Craig Groeschel
Craig Groeschel has no secrets ... well, maybe a few. Groeschel founded LifeChurch.tv in Edmond, Oklahoma in 1996 as one of the nation's first multi-campus churches. Today the ministry offers 40 weekly worship experiences at nine different locations. But, whereas many pastors of large churches become more secretive and inaccessible with success, Groeschel decided to reverse this trend (at least for himself) with his jarringly transparent Confessions of a Pastor.
A gifted and creative communicator, Groeschel bares his soul about personal and professional challenges. A mixture of Groeschel's confessions serve as the chapter headings of his book. Among his confessions: "I can't stand a lot of Christians," "I hate prayer meetings," "I worry almost all the time," and "Sometimes I doubt God."
We caught up with Groeschel amid a hectic schedule of media appearances related to mysecret.tv, a confessional Web site LifeChurch.tv launched in the summer.
Ministry Today: You write about being mentored by someone who advocated sustaining the "pastor's mystique." Isn't there something to be said for not airing all your issues lest your people lose respect for your calling?
Groeschel: Absolutely. You can share too much. One pastor confessed to his church his struggle with lust. In a sermon he actually told his listeners that he might even be having lustful thoughts about some of them at that very moment. Too much information! Church members need to see pastors as real people, struggling to surrender daily to Christ. By all means take risks, but take calculated ones. Ask yourself what your motivation is to share. Are you being selfish (for example, you want to relieve yourself of loneliness or guilt)? Or is what you're saying spiritually useful to those you serve?
Ministry Today: So, what are some of the practical implications of this?
Groeschel: I know many pastors who encourage small groups in their churches yet don't participate themselves. But Jesus spent "down-time" with the very people He was leading. Genuine relationships don't happen without transparency. And transparency means risk. I'm not recommending that pastors should be saying everything we're thinking (if I did that, I'd probably lose my job). But without pouring our hearts into one another, we isolate ourselves and dry up spiritually. And we can end up on the slippery slope toward hypocrisy.
Ministry Today: Ministry seems to naturally cultivate the tendency toward inauthenticity. So, how do you "keep it real"—in spite of what your congregation may think?
Groeschel: No matter what I do, some people (maybe a lot of people) won't like me. For too many years, I lived to please people and meet their expectations, which of course is impossible. My goal—one I don't always achieve, by the way—is to be who God created me to be. Anything less is hypocrisy and compromises the integrity of my ministry.
Ministry Today: Can feelings of inadequacy actually enhance ministry?
Groeschel: I don't know any pastor (especially me) who is an adequate leader for our pastoral role. That's why we need to learn to depend completely on God. Fears of inadequacy are normal. Talking about them openly, with deliberate intention, can be powerful. I regularly confess to our church that I get nervous before I speak, and that I feel completely inadequate to do this job. That humanizes me, both to them and to myself. I've experienced other times when I didn't know if I could continue in ministry. This wasn't something I talked about while preaching. It would've been too much for the average church member to bear. Although we should invite people to know us as real people following Christ, we should also consciously avoid undermining their confidence in our ability to lead them to Him.
Ministry Today: You mention the importance of a personal accountability partner.
Groeschel: My accountability partner is someone I knew before I was deeply engaged in public ministry. This has been helpful because he knows me as regular Craig, not Pastor Craig. To me, finding a true accountability partner ranks close to finding your spouse. It's a prayerful, intentional pursuit of a lifelong friendship, whose ongoing purpose is to make you more like Jesus. It's not a breakfast with three other people shooting the breeze. It's gut-level, here's-where-I-am, not-holding-anything-back transparency. It may be scary, but I've discovered that, for me, it's a matter of survival.
Ministry Today: What about the pitfalls of baring your soul to someone other than your spouse?
Groeschel: It is risky to bare your soul to someone besides your spouse—especially for a pastor. However, in my opinion, the dangers of isolating yourself, carrying your own burdens and secrets, are far greater. Honestly, I didn't bare my soul in the early stages of my accountability friendship. In the past I had been significantly betrayed by someone I trusted completely. That experience inclined me never to trust again. Thankfully, I eventually overcame that pain and reached out again.
Ministry Today: Mysecret.tv has gotten a lot of media attention. But some questioned the benefit of anonymous confesssion.
Groeschel: Our intention has always been to encourage visitors to mysecret.tv to approach others' confessions prayerfully, not use them as a voyeuristic experience. Also, we've never suggested that confessing anonymously to a computer has special powers. Directing our confessions into a prayer toward God and His people is what changes lives. But think how many never go there. For them, writing a private confession for millions to read can be a first step—a huge one, as it turns out—and one they might never otherwise take.
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